Cybertruck Caper: The Comically Short Chase of a Stolen Tesla in Delaware

Hot Take:

Magnificently dumb indeed! Stealing a Cybertruck is like swiping the Mona Lisa and hanging it in your living room. It’s not just a car; it’s a rolling billboard for “Catch Me If You Can.” And spoiler alert: they did.

• Corey Cohee, aged 41, allegedly stole a Tesla Cybertruck in Lincoln, Sussex County, with the vehicle boasting a shiny new temporary New Jersey registration.
• Delaware State Police quickly utilized the Cybertruck’s tracking app to locate the vehicle on a dirt road.
• The chase was brief, with Cohee eventually pulling over and being arrested “without incident.”
• The Cybertruck’s distinct, almost otherworldly design, along with its tracking capabilities, makes it a less-than-ideal choice for would-be car thieves.
• Cohee is now enjoying the minimalist confines of a cell at Sussex Correctional Institution, with a bond set at $4,002.

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A Futuristic Folly

Imagine the scene: a futuristic, stainless steel vehicle that looks more suited to a Mars mission than rural Delaware, being chased by police through dirt roads. The Cybertruck, with its “bulletproof” charm and heft, makes for a less-than-stealthy getaway car. It’s like trying to sneak through a diet convention with a loud, crunchy bag of chips.

Technology to the Rescue

Thanks to Tesla’s nifty tracking app, the police didn’t have to work too hard. It’s almost as if the Cybertruck wanted to be found, screaming “Here I am!” through its digital footprint. This incident just might be a hat tip to modern automotive technology that even the most brazen thief can’t outsmart.

The Great Surrender

After what can only be described as a short-lived thrill, Cohee decided that discretion was the better part of valor, pulling over to face the music without causing further drama. Perhaps the realization dawned that an escape plan in such a conspicuous ride was doomed from the start.

A Bond Not So Grand

Held on a $4,002 bond, Cohee’s grand escape ended not with a bang but a whimper. The oddly specific bond amount adds just the right touch of peculiarity to this bizarre tale of grand theft auto, Cybertruck style.

Irony on Wheels

This incident wraps up with a delicious irony. A car designed to be almost indestructible and futuristic in every way, yet it becomes the centerpiece in a decidedly low-tech crime. It’s like using a laser-guided missile to swat a fly—overkill much?

In conclusion, if there’s a lesson to be learned here, it’s that stealing a Cybertruck is a bad idea. Not just because it’s wrong, but because it’s probably the quickest way to get caught. Maybe next time, a bicycle would suffice for those with a penchant for the pedal and the metal—and a desire to stay under the radar.